can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
