My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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