I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
