Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
