just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
