There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
