They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
