she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Damn victory sex feels great
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
