remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Randomize
