I want to walk on stilts...naked
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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