His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
