His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
