The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
