i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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