Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
we made out on top of his cat.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You dont lie about slip and slides
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize