Can Purell be used as lube?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
