Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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