Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Everclear isn't food dammit
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
