I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize