Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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