We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
