no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
