i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
