Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize