Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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