Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
