At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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