There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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