I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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