This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
