My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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