dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
