i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
