If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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