my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
