I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
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