why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
