just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
