R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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