I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I touched a dick in church today
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize