i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
