So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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