if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
