You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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