my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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