I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
