Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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