I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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