I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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