And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize