well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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