but the lizard people decide everything anyway
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
