when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
