I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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