Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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