a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
