If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
