I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
