Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
