yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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