dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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