Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
