I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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