i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
